Barb Is Still Screaming.....

Once there was a girl named Barb. She had a big problem. She couldn't stop screaming! Barb's mom tried everything. She hit her with pans, she reached inside her mouth, took her vocal cords, gave her a crab, and said, "Okay, Ariel, SCREAM!"

Barb was still able to scream, miraculously. "Reach for the sky!" she yelled, grabbing her vocal cords from her mom. "Bulll curse you!" With that, she shut the door to her room with a resonant SMASH and began her siren impersonation.

Mrs. Shippy was attracted to the house just then. She sneaked through Barb's mom. "I'll give you scream lessons," she announced.

Barb screamed.

Mrs. Shippy screamed.

"Lions, tigers, and bears!" Barb said.

"A penny a day!" Mrs. Shippy hollered.

"Jack is a dull boy!" Barb agreed at the top of her lungs.

"Sticks �n stones will break my bones!" her pet ferret screeched.

Suddenly, a tornado appeared out of nowhere. Barb got sucked up. She landed in Tasmania. All the people got out of their mansions. The streets were covered with Tasmanian devils. The Tasmanian devils got on an airplane. They killed the waitresses and took over the cockpit while Barb gave the remaining Tasmanian devils screaming lessons. Equipped with an army of the nasty boogers, Barb set out on foot for her house.

Mrs. Barb opened the door. She opened it. She closed it. She opened it. She closed it. She opened it. She closed it. She SLAMMED it on her nose!

Barb screamed. "GUESS WHAT?!"

"What?"

"Bye bye."

Suddenly Mrs. Shippy came in. She got attracted to Barb's mom. "Marry me!" she said. With that Mrs. Shippy jumped into Barb's mom's arms.

SMOOCH! Had Barb's mom gone completely insane?

"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!" Barb's mom said, holding up a police badge.

Just then the ice cream truck came. So Barb and Mrs. Shippy ran inside it and hid in the containers.

They just screamed. Their moms came.

"Mrs. Shippy," one said, "I know you're here."

"BARBY!" screamed Barb's mom.

Barb held her nose as Mrs. Shippy pooped in her diaper.

"Let's go harass someone else," Mrs. Shippy and Barb shouted.

So they went to Krian and Bevin's house. There Barb had Krian and Bevin, who were brain dead. Barb married Mr. Avink, and they had kids. Their wedding was in a pig pen. Barb tripped in it on a pig.

She could not stop screaming. She was still only 9, and Mr. Avink was 22.

Then an angel appeared. A blue one. "Your lips are frozen in time. I am the angel of death." Then he killed them both with his teeth. Barb screamed through it all. She is still screaming. That's why when you do your homework in preschool, you can't concentrate. Because Barb is still screaming . . . .