***Cowritten by me and my friend
Breathmint***
My name is Mike Bolivia and my mom is a witch. And she ate 6 kids last year!
Disgusting! One day when I walked into school, a girl came up to me and said,
"My name is Brad Pitt. You know me as a guy, but I am actually a girl. Wanna
smooch?"
I was annoyed. Like I would fall for that kind of junk anyway.
He/she said he quit his acting career to become a girl.
Luckily I was saved by my mom, who entered at that moment. She said, "Don't
touch my babe! He's mine! Mine, mine, mine, yes ALL mine! Watch out!" Then
she turned "Brad" into an ant and stepped on him, killing him. Phew! At least
that was over.
Later that day, I was in PE class and saw that the girls' class was running
almost on pure spirit alone. They had circled the soccer field around 20
times, and most were panting with exhaustion. One fell, and the teacher,
Miss Snerpinshfield, pulled out a whip.
"Hey!" I yelled. Miss Snerpinshfield headed my direction, whip unfurled,
cracking the air with a menacing sound.
I ran to the mens' room. After about an hour, I saw that Miss Snerpinshfield
had finally joined her class.
I headed into the hallway and saw another girl walk by. She was, I guess,
an eighth-grader. I walked up to her and said, "Why aren't you in class?
Whose class are you supposed to be in anyway?"
"I'm supposed to be in your mom's class, but I don't agree with cannibalism,
so I left. Oh, my name is Karen, by the way."
She was gorgeous. Absolutely knock-out gorgeous! It was love at first
sight.
So I said to her, "Wait inside the gym," and ran to get my stuff. When I
came back I said, "Get your stuff," and she did. Since I had the keys to
my mom's car, we left the school.
We went to the airport, where Karen admitted that yes, she had a boyfriend,
but would be willing to drop him for me. As long as we got on a plane. Any
plane. I take it she really hates my mom's class. Can't really blame her.
While on the plane, Goldilocks floated by our window. She looked like she
was on drugs! After leering at me, she flapped her ears and turned into-
MY MOM! Then she banged on the window and fell down to the ground, exploding
upon impact. They still haven't found all the body parts. We lived happily
ever after. YEAH! YEAH!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!! YEAH!!!!!
YEAH!!!!!!