Hello, Meegan. My name is Ploville Larkins.
How are you today? My tush is purple. Just like my snout. Do you like to
eat oysters? I bet you do. I hate Mr. Moldy, he is a crumb of scum. What
do you get if you fall in love? A ball of dew, that's what. Do you love me?
Let me count the ways I love you. First off, I am a buttmuncher. Secondly,
I suck rocks. Thirdly, I am a banana-brain.
Do you like the language of math? I write good letters yesterdy. The princypal
Mr. Feaviezvie is hungry- he wants a toe. I have many different handwritings.
Can you read this? How about this. Look at this!
Hey, dude, check this out! Wow! My bones
are rottening very fast. How about yours? Hip-hip-happy dooday!
My nose is itchy--maybe I'll pick it. Ahhh-that feels better now. I love
the squishy ones. Are you doing anything on Monday? Maybe you could spend
the night at my den- we could have a lot of fun! We could play Torture Camp,
Eat the Frog, and Pick Your Nose. Know what that just said? We could play
Torture Camp, Eat the Frog, and Pick your Nose. Maybe even Kill a Goat. That's
one of my favorite games. For torture camp, bring a turtle (a disposable
one). You and the turtle can be the prisoners, and I can be a Nazi.
Yippee-i-oh-cay-ay!
It's a long way to Tipperary- my history book said so. Maybe it's on Jupiter.
Jupiter is my aunt, you know. I'm just a midget planet. So far, I have fleas,
lice, and grubs living on me. Maybe when I'm a million YOU'LL be living on
me! Cool! Awesome, dud!
My skin is peeling. It feels good. Tomorrow I'll eat my cat. But for today,
I'm happy.
Have a happy Jerkface Day,
BULLLLLLLL