Ryan and the Tragic Sequence of Events


Hello. My name is Ryan Peel. I love orange peels. But now I have a crush on Lana Wana. She is SO cute, I mean, I love girls with only one eye and two mouths. I love her ears mostly, they are ears from a wolf. She is really beautiful.

So beautiful, in fact, that I decided to give her a present. I didn't know what to get her because I've never gotten a present for anyone before.

I hoped a booger from my dog's nose would show my individuality and creativity.

I stood outside her house and rang the doorbell. Lana's mom answered it. "Hello, you little orange peel. I love you!"

So Ryan gave Mrs. Wana the booger.

"OH, I LOVE YOU RYAN!"

So Ryan and Mrs. Wana were married that day. They took their honeymoon to Venus. On the way, in the spaceship, Ryan met another woman. He was having an affair, and Mrs. Wana didn't even know:-(

Mrs. Wana, in her own way, was having an affair, and her husband DID know. Mr. Cye Wana decided to take drastic measures to get his darling wifey back.

So he blew himself up into a hot air dog and squashed Lana. Then Mrs. Wana, then Ryan, then the whale world. Except for one whale, who held a crush on Mr. Wana. The whale's name was George. He was a very fat whale. He ate too much.

He and Mr. Wana had a lot in common. Cye entered George in Seminary to finish off his education. Mrs. Luetkebuyer screamed and mistook George for her own dear son Matt, as they were both flabby.

Then God said "Let there be light," and the world was full of darkness.

THE END