Dear Cheez-it,
How are you? I am dumb. I went swimming at the pool. The pool was great.
The pool was hot. The pool was burning hot. My skin was falling off. It hurt.
It hurt very much.
After I went to the pool. I saw my friend. Actually, my ex-friend. Actually,
my ex-ex-friend. My ex-ex-ex-friend killed me. I died. I died very much.
When I wrote this letter I had ink. But the ink ran out. I went to the store.
To get more ink. Jessa the girl at the store was mean. She was very mean.
She was mean very much. Jessa killed me too. I don't know why but today I
died a lot.
When I got home after dying I decided to tie-dye. I killed a bunch of ties.
I whapped them with a bat. They cried. They cried very much. Their crying
hurt me. After their crying hurt me I dyed. I dyed myself.
Y'know no no no no no I ate a cheez-it. It made me get a zit. The zit was
big. It was pretty. Pretty big. It was very very pretty. The zit hurt. The
zit hurt very much. The zit was so pretty I had to give it a name. I named
it Compoter-head. Well I guess this letter is too long. You should leave
letters for other people. Get it-ha ha ha! A joke! My first victory of the
day!
Your dyeing friend,
Bulll (otherwise known as Knuckleheadface and Zit-chee)