Dear Cheez-it,
My head. My head is dumb. It hurts very much. My head a shark bit. The shark
bit it very hard. It feels really really sore. My mommy she got bit too.
She is now a mummy married to a gorilla named Tut. Tutenkhamen actually.
She is divorced from Tarzan. My sister Kme has a big wart. It's infected.
It's infected very much. Mosquitos suck it. She says it feels better when
she puts a hornet nest on it.
I went to play golf today. I broke a golf house window. Actually I broke
596 windows in all today. It was fun. It was very fun. It was very very fun.
Dracula helped me get my ball into the woods. The woods ate my ball. Then
they burped. I barfed on Kme everytime I got my ball in the hole. Kme is
a bad golfer 2. She killed me. She killed me very much.
Mommy died last week (as I told you in my last letter). She is alive now
thanks to the Rogaine my zombie father pumped manually into her veins. I
am sad. Now I have to dump the dog and clean the cans every weekend like
I did before she died. Mummy Mom won't watch TV anymore so she tried to microwave
our TV set. It died. It died very much.
I'm fed up with you you you you you you you you you you
you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your cranky monster,
Bull